Loss of confidence
I had a job interview this afternoon. I spent two hours beforehand laying facedown on my bed, paralyzed to move. This is going to sound crazy, but I wasn't nervous about the interview. I was terrified that they would offer me the job.
I'm afraid that a company will offer me a job because I am afraid that I'm not a good employee. While I'm not the most technically skilled "angineer" out there, I feel like I can hold my own professionally at a certain level. Unfortunately I give the appearance to my coworkers that I don't care because I'm not responsible enough to be on time in the morning. Also, I devote too much time and energy during the work day to the other causes that I love--particularly when I'm feeling insecure about about my professional skills.
The good news is that the interview went well today. The other good news is that they won't make a decision until early next week. Maybe if I sit on my bed long enough, my confidence will return.