Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Tales from an office fridge

M: Did either of you have cantelope in the fridge on Friday?
R & Angie: Nope.
M: Hmmm... I wonder who did. Because I took it home instead of breast milk.
R: I wonder who the lucky one who took home the breast milk is.



At 6:48 PM, Blogger bill said...

Laying aside the opportunities for sly rapier-like wit -- how in the world could someone mistake one for the other? Hey, this 'lope has turned liquid! What the, this breast milk has solidified...and has seeds!

The mind boggles.

At 11:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The mind reels.......and how could you spell cantaloupe wrong? Give props to the ugly cantaloupe melon, the ODB of the fruit family. And, hey!, who thinks its okay to put your erm, human product in the office fridge? Aren't there certain rules of office engagement? I mean I don't put a big flask of urine in there so that everyone can mix it up with Mountain Dew! And I certainly don't leave my 'Original Whizzinator' ( it's an actual product: www.thewhizzinator.com) just lying around the office as a conversation piece. (Onterrio Smith is now my favorite football player...bar none. He now holds a special place in the pantheon of moronic athletes).I'm conflicted.

PS - How was Star Wars? I'm just happy that those idiots that were sleeping on the street have finally left. (I'm a block down from a cinema, and said 'losers in the genetic Cold War' were impeding my typically lovely walk into the money minting facility)....though let it be said that it has taken nearly three decades to find out that Anakin Skywalker turned to the Dark Side because Obi-Wan failed to impart on him one of the most crucial lessons not just of the Jedi Code but of any male code: Bros before hos. Disappointing. Obi-Wan needs to get his brisket slap-jacked, Philly style.

The G from the Vanilla Ice, poss-e...aka Ryan Seacrest


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