Cease and desist order

To whom it may concern:

Effective immediately, no employees are allowed to whistle in the hallways, excepting [my boss]. SR is the only employee allowed to sing in the hallways. Only DM is allowed to snap his fingers. Adopting a signature sound already in use by another supervisor causes employees to prematurely close browser windows and inadvertently lose personal emails. If you wish to adopt a signature sound of your own, please register it with Angie and R before implementation. Thank you,

the Management