Sunday, March 11, 2007

That friend

She's right, you know. Somehow she's always understood me even better than I've understood myself. She offers me a perspective I wouldn't have seen without her and when she tells me what I should do, she's illuminating the way to being someone I've always wanted to be--her.

The fact she thinks that I can do better, that she thinks my search for chemistry is doomed, makes me wonder how I should tell him I'd rather be friends. The fact that we never talk about our past and that I keep the subject away from what our relationship is these days and how I feel about him could be another nail in this coffin. Or perhaps it shows the way to find what I'm looking for.

What's right for her isn't right for me. And how can she really understand when we only talk once a year, despite the intensity of our college friendship? So that leaves the question--do I live like her to try and be more like her?

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At 1:41 PM, Blogger Lauren said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 1:43 PM, Blogger Lauren said...

As someone reminded me last week, I can't see the back of my own head, someone else has to look at it and tell me what's back there. It sounds like you're facing some tough decisions and I wish you luck with them. You'll make a good decision, you're wise like that.


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