My own "True Hollywood Story"

I have found the way I am going to stretch out my 15 minutes of fame! E! is looking for a "normal" person to feature in an upcoming episode of True Hollywood Story. (So it won't really be a Hollywood story, but stay with me people!) Obviously, I should apply. ;)

Secrets to having a great THS (according to E!)
Triumph against long odds
-Hmmm... middle-class, nuclear family. Nope.
Dedication to a dream
-I wanted to be president when I was 9. That hasn't worked out so well.
Mistakes made, lessons learned
-Um, every day, but applying the lessons is a different story...
A dash of dumb luck
-I'm pretty good at cards! :)
Discovery of a niche
-Is that what this blog is?
Confrontation with fear
-I had to kill a spider in my apt the other night BY MYSELF. Another disadvantage to living alone. But no grainy video to prove it. Darn. (see below)
A change of fortunes
-Nope. Life started out good and still is good.

Ok, so I don't have any of the keys to having a great THS. But let's start filling out the application. I'm sure that will reveal why I would be perfect to profile.

From the application...
II. Story Overview
1. In one sentence, why do you think your life would make a great True Hollywood Story?

I think I would be a great person to profile for THS because I would like to be a little famous, although not being-followed-by-paparazzi famous, and because I would like to use THS to find a boyfriend--the same way Tom Cruise is using the media to advertise his availability. Speaking of dating Tom Cruise, who has seen the special (Cruisin') E! is currently running on him?

Plus, for all those women looking to fill the shoes of Nicole Kidman and
Penélope Cruz, Tom reveals his romantic side. "I like taking care of a woman,"
he confesses to E!, "and having those moments in bed at night."

That one sentence and I'm all his--and I didn't even like "You complete me" or Jerry Maguire. I'm sure some random guy saying that in a bar would be creepy, but when Tom Cruise says it my mouth starts to water, I melt and think--Tom, you could take care of me! But criticizing his work on the internet has surely ruined any chance I had with him. Drat!

2. Tell us your Story on no more than two typed pages. (attach your Story to your submission form as a separate page(s)). Please include copies of any newspaper clippings, magazine articles or other published articles, police reports, birth certificates or any other legal/governmental documentation/corroborating materials regarding your Story, and contact information of third party(ies) who can verify your Story.

I won't tell my life story here--wait, too late--but obviously I have been lax in gathering supporting documentation. And police reports? Is this Jerry Springer?

IV. Self-reflection

3. Who would play you, in a movie?

Teri Hatcher is my choice for the moment--and can Dean Cain be my boyfriend? I mean it--can Dean Cain be my boyfriend?

What do you think? Will I be chosen?