Thursday, November 11, 2004

Like that ride at Disneyland

I wrote my note to C without telling anyone about it. I didn't think she would write back but I wanted to help her find a place here, the way she helped me find a place in our collegiate chapter. Unexpectedly, only two days after I mailed it, she called me. The first thing she did was thank me for writing her because it offered her the opportunity to apologize to me. "I did some things in college I'm not proud of," she said, "and I'm glad to finally be able to apologize to you for them." She never said, and I never asked, why she was apologizing, but I'm glad to know she now regrets whatever she did to interfere in my relationship with S.

After catching up for 45 minutes, she told me about her divorce and her son. She seemed surprised that I already knew about them and I should've expected her follow-up question. "How did you get my address?"

I lied.

She knew even better than I did that our sorority didn't have her address, but I stuck to my story, hoping that I could keep my relationships with S and C completely separate. Despite some misgivings about the lie, I thought it could work--at least until I'd re-established my friendship with her and could be honest. I never imagined she would email S.

The phone call came frantically the next day--"She's emailed me--I need to know what's going on!" And after I explained, he chose to tell her the truth--that he shared her address with me--and I didn't protest because their relationship is more important than the fact that my lie was exposed.

Despite that revelation, she chose to attend our sorority event just a few days later and even carpooled with me. True to form, I didn't bring up the subject and she waited to bring it up until I was about to drop her off. "I emailed S and thanked him for giving you my address," she opened. "I'm not surprised you're in contact with him--S likes the familiar."

For my part, I apologized and volunteered that I only want to be able to be friends with both without having their divorce and continuing struggles be an issue. C believes it can happen. I hope so.



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