Return of the Mommi

"Close your eyes," my mom said to my brother as she came downstairs in her pajamas, carrying a load of laundry she was going to put in.

"I could just look away," he replied.

"Actually," I said as I looked up more than six inches to meet his eyes, "you could just not look down." We all laughed. My mom tried to seem indignant even though there is no disputing my brother's height advantage.

"Yeah Mom, if I don't look down, it is more like a blonde blob bobbing in front of me. Kind of like a blonde ewok." I laughed, encouraging him. He continued, "We'll get you a vest, a spear and a hood and we can call you 'Mum Mum'."

Clever boy

My family and I were walking out of the arena after the rodeo ended and my brother said:
"Now that the rodeo's over, guess what's gonna come out and spread nice fresh dirt in the rodeo ring? A Zamdirti."

Thanksgiving snapshot

On Wednesday night my dad and his mother were working together to get a mincemeat pie in the oven for Thanksgiving. He had already carefully placed the top crust on it when he realized they had forgotten to put a little butter between the filling and crust.

"No problem," he said, cutting a large semicircle in the top crust. With his mom carefully pulling up the flap of crust, they inserted pats of butter under the edges of the dough.

"I feel like I'm watching a pie autopsy," my brother observed. "It's like 'CS: Pie.'"

How would you know that?

Brother: Did you know that Jessica Simpson's perfume line tastes like stuff?
Me: Yeah, I'd heard that.
Brother: Well, my friend Hilary has her frosting perfume. It smells like a baby prostitute, but it actually tastes like frosting!

Good samaritan

Me: Did you hear about how Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes stopped on the way home the other night to help the victims of a hit and run accident and stayed until the police and ambulance arrived?

My brother: Yeah, Tom was probably trying to convert them to Scientology. 'I think I've got some pamphlets in the car,' then Katie whispers, 'Help me! Call Dawson!'

As my brother said...

“Goodnight. Dream of X-Men and sugarplums!”

Enjoy your weekend!