Friday, April 28, 2006


When I was a senior in college, my roommates and I had this big party. In order to distinguish ourselves as hostesses we all wore candy necklaces. Before the party we made a pact that we were each going to have at least one guy snack on our edible jewelry that night. At the end of the night I was the only one who had lived up to our bargain and it was only T's goatee that had tickled my neck that night.

When T came to visit me during our last failed relationship attempt, he brought me more than 10 small gifts--including gifts that represented moments we'd spent together. One of the gifts he produced out of his suitcase was a candy necklace. Little did he know that I had two candy necklaces in my pantry waiting for his visit. For that one moment we were on the same page, but my inability to share my emotions left the pantry door closed and he never knew.

I opened the pantry door last night looking for sprinkles and instead came out with two old candy necklaces. I snipped the strings and used the candy to decorate today's cupcakes.

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Thursday, April 27, 2006


When you are used to seeing a woman with her makeup on, you are sometimes shocked at how tired she looks when you see her without it.  This morning I looked at my boss during our meeting and suddenly noticed a similar paleness around his eyes as well, one external sign of the private trials he is enduring.  


Wednesday, April 19, 2006


On a dirty van written in the dust:
I wish my wife was this dirty!


Tuesday, April 18, 2006


I sprinted up the stairs when my phone rang. Discovering a different friend unexpectedly on the other line was a nice surprise and I smiled as I took the phone into the living room.

A flash of light caught my eye out the bay window and I turned, still talking. There was a man with a flashlight standing at the top of our driveway looking into the driver’s seat of my mom’s car. I froze, now silent and puzzled. Was Dad outside? He’d been washing the dishes a few minutes before. Adrenaline began to pump through my veins. I cocked my head to listen and realized I could still hear him washing dishes.

Putting my friend on hold, I slid into the kitchen. “Dad, there’s someone outside with a flashlight looking in Mom’s car.”

Time seemed delayed as he turned to look at me and hurried past me into the entry. The door closed behind him as he rushed down the driveway. The man I had seen was now on the sidewalk running away from our house.

“You, stop!” my dad called as he ran after the would-be thief. The tall man ducked in a dark running car and brake lights flashed briefly before they peeled away. My dad limped home in his socks, reporting back to us when he found us waiting in the entry. As he finished his story, I slipped my arm around him in silent thanks for being there to protect us.


Thursday, April 06, 2006

Non deja vu

Working in one of my company's other offices this morning, I am working quietly when another young woman enters my cube.  "Hi Angie," she says, smiling.
My mind races.  Is this the Angie from the cube next to me that I haven't met yet trying to be ironic?  I ducked my head to take off my headphones, hoping to hide the confusion I was feeling that was clear on my face.
"I thought that was you," she continues.  "Did you drive up this morning?"
As I answered her question, my mind raced.  It was clear she knew me and I didn't recognize her at all. 
Why isn't there a Google search for that?


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Closing the diary

Freshmen year we kissed in our darkened hallway, but when we tried to talk about it, I misunderstood him and we went back to being friends only.

Sophomore year I got scared when a friend told me he'd said I was "the kind of girl he pictured himself marrying" and I avoided him--for a year. He gave me very loving and thoughtful Christmas gifts and I wrote him a thank you note for being my friend.

Junior year he was my rebound from PJ and after he left romantic songs on my voicemail and brought me flowers, I pushed him away.

Senior year we finally started dating until he thought I told him I didn't want to be his girlfriend.

Post-college we were best friends--best friends who spent half an hour a day on the phone, shared lots of sexual innuedo, and traveled to visit each other. But after he visited me, he went back to dating other women--meeting Kathy not long after.

T is giving her the ring on Sunday.

Suprisingly my congratulations were heartfelt. The question of "what might've been" will always remain, but it seems clear that he has made the right choice in the end.


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