Friday, July 29, 2005

Wanted: ABC News copy editor

ABC News: Frist Breaks With Bush on Stem-Cell Bill: "At the White House, press secretary Scott McClellan said Frist had given Bush advance notice of his announcement. 'The president said, `You've got to vote your conscious,'' McClellan said. "

No, he was going to vote his unconscious. At least it is spelled correctly.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005


Yesterday was R's last day at my company. When she privately told me of her intention to resign, I realized how reliant on her I've become.

I've been lazy, using her checklists and always asking her, "Now who do I submit that to?"
I've been lazy, letting R take the lead in delineating tasks and assigning them.
I've been lazy, proofreading her certification test application and taking physical and mental notes for mine.
I've been lazy, using R's files instead of setting up my own.

R is the one that I go to when I need to find an old project, know who to talk to in the office, or get the latest gossip. She is the one I told first about my date with G, rationalizing it to myself that she is just over the wall and would know soon enough anyway. R knows who everyone in the office is, sits on every committee, and has a trick or shortcut to get every task done. When the weather is bad, we pore over the online radar together, and when we need private time to conference, we walk around the building together.

I hope I've been a good friend to her--listening when she separated from her husband, being in on the secret when she started dating her current boyfriend. We are the two who take a long lunch to get free Slurpees or to buy graham crackers to eat with our chocolate ganache.

Today is the first day of my new professional life and I know it is a great opportunity for me, but I look at her empty desk and wish she was back and I could go back to being lazy.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Identity crisis

When I started this blog, I was too impatient to wait for readers to find me and too eager for feedback to keep total anonymity. Most of the time I enjoy knowing that one of my roommates, my best friend and my sister are all loyal readers. My blog is also a great way to keep in touch with far-flung friends.

I should know better, but I misled myself to believe that I was in control of who was reading my blog. On Friday night, my mother referred to my ongoing bra shopping adventures as chronicled here. I thought I had taken care to keep my blog's existence from her but apparently she has known about Angineer for a while now. Then on Sunday, I was reading up on my cousin's latest adventures abroad and realized that if I left a comment I would be leaving a link for her parents and sister to follow back here.

I know I'm not the only blogger who has undergone a crisis regarding their blog. Despite my new insecurity, I still enjoy posting for my friends, both those from real life and those I've met through this blog. Thanks to those friends for making my first year as a blogger memorable.

Monday, July 25, 2005


"Gosh, I'm clearly out of practice!" I lamented to Scott as I walked into the house at 2am on Saturday night. I couldn't hide the smile on my face after spending nearly 8 hours with G - the co-worker I went on the date with a couple weeks ago - but I also couldn't help lamenting that despite the giggling and touching that our flirtatious evening contained, I still didn't get even a goodnight kiss.


Friday was R's 27th birthday. Around mid-morning she informed me that her boyfriend was coming to take her to lunch and she hoped I would join them--and that I would invite G. I countered with a lame excuse, apprehensive about the clear double date-nature of the exclusive invitation to him, but she batted away my excuse and I extended the invitation. G seemed eager to go and proved to fit in with us pretty easily.

After our return from lunch, I struggled to find a way to make weekend plans with G. He made the first move with a cute email a little after 4 and by 5 I had invited him to dinner at my house on Saturday night and then miniature golf. I was excited but nervous at this prospect, which I'm sure showed since I was a little jumpy when he arrived the next night. A somewhat quick dinner before miniature golf turned into us spending nearly 8 hours talking.

We talked sitting at my kitchen table and in my living room. We also talked as we leaned against my kitchen counter, for a time close enough that his jeans brushed my bare legs. Shortly before 1 my roommate returned home from work and after he joined us for a few minutes, I walked G out to his car. Out in the dark we managed to keep talking for another hour, even as my roommate blinked the lights at us twice. Standing between my car and his, I thought I would finally get to kiss him. G stepped toward me and butterflies surged from the pit of my stomach to my scalp, but I looked down to blush and the moment was broken.

I have no doubt we could've kept talking later in the night if Scott hadn't come out to see if I was still out there. I joined Scott at the gate to our back door and watched as G drove off, following Scott into the house to lament about what my evening lacked but smile about what it didn't and what the future might still contain.

Sunday, July 24, 2005


Isn't it sweet how those you love are more protective of your heart than you are?

On Friday night, my sister was asking me and our brother for ideas about how to find out if her ex-boyfriend might be interested in giving their relationship another try. This particular ex seemed sweet enough when they were together, but I can't see him that way after being awakened in middle of the night and listening impotently as my sister sobbed to me in the parking lot outside his dorm the night they broke up. We both argued that, regardless of the fact that she decided to break up with him, he was the one who hurt her and that she shouldn't give him another chance. Without a gift for legilimency or divination, I don't know if she should pursue this but I just want her to be happy.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Republican values

From the Sunday (July 3, 2005) Portland Oregonian:
"Other than telling us how to live, think, marry, pray, vote, invest, educate our children and, now, die, I think the Republicans have done a fine job of getting government out of our personal lives."

Monday, July 18, 2005

That's what sisters are for

I rushed into the church only 10 minutes before J's wedding was due to start. I noticed the heavy curtains to my right and hurried between them. There was J surrounded by family and bridesmaids. She looked at me warily and asked what I needed. I smiled, "Nothing. Just came to bring you some handwipes in case you need them. And to see if you still need something blue?"

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I brought this for you," I answered, holding out an earring. The small silver earring, decorated with blue stones, was shaped like our sorority's symbol. Her face lit up in the first genuine smile I'd been honored with in days. She reached out and said, "I want it." And I watched as she pinned a piece of our sisterhood to her wedding gown.


Walking across the street to the rehearsal for J's wedding on Friday, I called out to the young woman crossing the street in the opposite direction, "Jaime! Jaime!"

The slim girl did a double take when she saw me and rushed across the lanes to grab me in a hug. "Hi, you got your hair cut!"

We spent a few moments catching up and then I excused myself to head into the campus chapel. Jaime asked me to give J her best wishes and then suggested that I call her if I wanted to get together this summer. I smiled, nodded and headed off to help our sister celebrate her wedding.


If I hadn't accepted that job offer four years ago, and if I hadn't emailed the local sorority chapter soon after I moved here, I wouldn't know the women in that picture with me (right) and I wouldn't know Jaime (that I crossed paths with above). My life would be less rich, less vibrant, and less fun. That's what sisters are for.

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Friday, July 15, 2005

And eat it too...

My pastry chef roomie Scott is making the wedding cake for J and D's wedding tomorrow.

Call 1 from Scott today:
Only 80 people are coming to the wedding and the top two layers will serve 120ish, so please pick up a 16"x16"x4" piece of styrofoam on your way home to simulate the third layer.

Call 2 from Scott today:
I really want J to have what she wants so I will be making that third layer of cake (which serves over 100 on its own). Cancel the styrofoam request.

I told my teammate that I hoped she liked cake since it sounded like I would be bringing some to work on Monday. She said she'd bring the ice cream. I like the way she thinks!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

History is a teacher

I briefly dated my friend F when I was a senior in high school and he was a junior. My best friend had started college and I was still finding my place in school without her. Lunches while I dated F included his group of friends and even though our relationship ended fairly quickly, his friends didn't ostracize me. While I didn't have their shared history and sometimes felt like I was in a different world as a senior facing college applications and graduation, I appreciated being included when celebrating the holidays and eating otherwise lonely lunches.

My attraction for PJ was instantaneous and I plotted to catch up with him at the movies the night I met him. After my first dinner with his friends, I was automatically included in their group. Despite not being his girlfriend for another year and a half, and even after our breakup six months later, I lived with friends that were originally his and was there to celebrate when two of them got married.

Today at the end of the day my newest teammate at the office came over and chatted with me. Thus far she has kept pretty much to herself, save chatting and playing Ultimate Frisbee with her friend from college--the guy I went out with last weekend.

Looking back at my past, I see one possible future playing the role as the older and wiser girlfriend like I was with F's friends. If I'm lucky, perhaps I could end up with lifetime friends like those I gained from my attraction to PJ.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Additional educational materials

Required reading for my pre-engagement education program (patent pending):

ABC News: Man Lights Himself on Fire to Propose

Saturday, July 09, 2005

What makes a date?

Last night was really good. Dipping my feet back in the dating pool is fun, but it also raising questions for me.

What makes a date?

I think it comes down to the intentions of both parties. I have a male friend (F) from high school that I get together with every couple months. At first to keep our relationship clearly platonic, I made sure that we split everything. Over the years my vigilance has waned and now we take turns buying. Reviewing last night's activities (movie and ice cream), I can see that the only difference between last night and a night with my friend F is what went through my head--and hopefully my date's. If I'd been out with F, I wouldn't have made eye contact through my lashes and I wouldn't have allowed our shoulders to touch during the movie. I wouldn't have smiled quite so widely and I wouldn't be hoping for a phone call and looking forward to seeing him on Monday.

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Friday, July 08, 2005


I first discovered I could flirt when I was working at a movie theater as a senior in high school. My future boyfriend D told me that he "had my number" and I turned to look at him and said, "No, but you could have it."

Lately I've been putting this long neglected skill to use with two guys in my office.

First there was a surveyor who is at least seven years older than I am. He's a bit of a flirt and while I began to enjoy the extra attention, I quickly knew that I didn't want it to go beyond that.

Since then, we've hired a new engineer straight from college. At first I mistook his earnestness for arrogance. But through my efforts to reach out to our other young engineers, information dissemination became friendly conversation. I see things in him that may not appear in my ideal boyfriend template, but I look forward to his visits, I enjoy giving him a hard time and he makes me laugh.

Oh, and we have a (maybe) date tonight. Cross your fingers for me--I'm a little out of practice!

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The next Olympian

Start of my journey
Originally uploaded by angineer.
Recently I told a coworker that if sleeping was an Olympic sport, I would be a member of the US team. So when my mom encouraged me to sleep on my 6am flight, I looked at her like she had just suggested that I wear pants that day--well, duh.

Soon after watching the sunrise over the Colorado plains during takeoff, I finished the only book I'd brought with me and decided it was time to sleep. At home, after a couple minutes on my left and a turn onto my right side, I'm asleep before I finish my pleasant daydreams. But not today. I tried everything I could to sleep, but I wasn't having any luck. What would I do if I couldn't...


I needn't have worried. My medal is secure.

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