Plowed

It just seems wrong to have spent the first afternoon of spring second-guessing the city's snow removal equipment and techniques.

Stinging wit

Katy: And we've got a bleeder here.  Don't worry, it's that girl you don’t like.
(Grabs Band-Aid.)
Me: Can you rub salt on that?

Fifty thousand words

Five reasons I should’ve had a camera phone over the weekend:

1. The airport security guard on the Segway.


2. The 50 family members meeting their newly adopted Guatemalan infant relative.


3. So that kid across the aisle and I could have both taken pictures of my friend walking down the aisle.


4. Dancing with the bride, groom and my former roommates to our favorite song from that year: Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain.


5. To capture my favorite moment of the whole weekend: being enveloped in a group hug by the bride and two of the amazing women she and I lived with.

Faith restored

It is hard to feel ambivalent about love and marriage when you see a friend of yours marry someone that she loves so much and you know that they have overcome hard times and made sacrifices to be together. May they always remember the happiness of this moment.

Pod

My boss: I’ve just been so tired since I got sick a couple weeks ago.
My coworker: {laughing} Maybe you’re pregnant!
Me: If he’s pregnant, can we sell him to a lab? We’ll be rich and famous!
My boss: Okay, but I just want to win the baby pool.
My coworker: What? Boy, girl and other?