Saturday night

I think I took Matt's advice tonight. A couple of my friends were headed to Cripple Creek to gamble, but I really don't enjoy gambling, and after the excesses of last weekend, drinking cheaply didn't really appeal either. I had an invitation to what I'm sure would've been an awesome Halloween party, but after my GS training, a second night of communing on my couch sounded better, or at least like less work. So here I am--doing what I want. Why does it feel like I'm hiding out or like I should be going out?

Deja vu

I'm currently watching My Sexiest Mistake on Oxygen--yes, one of my guilty pleasures is bad TV movies on networks "for women"--and this woman just met a man she believed to be a gigolo at the hotel where I saw one of my friends got married a little over a year ago.

Also on right now, the episode of ER that Scott and I tried to watch while four dozen mini-cheesecakes were baking. Let me tell you it isn't any less confusing when you're flipping back and forth watching it than when you watch it straight through at 3am.

Oh, and I'm wearing the cutest shirt today--it has Tweety dressed like a vampire with the caption "Scary Chick". :)

Open letter

You called me last night out of the blue. Ok, not exactly out of the blue since I still owed you a call from the message you left me just before sorority recruitment. But it was still a surprise to hear your voice in that message. Will I ever become reaccustomed to hearing your voice on the other end of the line?

Our conversation was nice. I felt a little stab when you mentioned that you were going to visit your girlfriend this weekend--and it felt deliberate, like you wanted me to know you were with someone. But it was nice to share our political views and it is nice to think that we could be friends.

Then I heard your voice for a moment this morning when I was talking with one of my coworkers.

And I saw you when I glanced down a hallway in my office.

Obviously neither was you--you're already on your way to Muncie by now.

Voting system nothing to bank on

Newsday.com - News Columnists

Columnist Ellis Henican asks why voting with electronic machines can't be as easy and reliable as using an ATM. What a great point! I am truly a child of my generation--more comfortable accessing my money through an ATM or the internet than with an actual bank teller. Why can't voting be this secure and easy? Because there are no huge companies driving innovations in secure voting methods/alternatives. Sometimes there are flaws with the capitalist system.

Preparing for Halloween

My office is the coolest ever. On Friday, there will be:

• a haunted house in the conference room for people to bring their kids to
• trick-or-treating for kids at selected cubicles
• a costume contest (for the employees)
• a cubicle decorating contest
• a hallway decorating contest
• other treats and fun

It had been my intention this year to dress up as a Catholic schoolgirl for Halloween but I don't feel comfortable wearing that to the office. I hadn't decided if I was going to participate in the costume contest at all, until I decided to decorate my cubicle as a pumpkin patch. Since my cubicle will be a pumpkin patch, I think I'll be a farmer. How cute is that? If I have time after helping my "neighbors" decorate our hallway tomorrow night after work, I plan on turning my filing cabinet into hay bales, my recycling box into a wheelbarrow, and covering my cubicle floor with orange balloon pumpkins and green crepe paper vines. How fun will that be?

BBC NEWS | Programmes | Newsnight | New Florida vote scandal feared

BBC NEWS Programmes Newsnight New Florida vote scandal feared: "A secret document obtained from inside Bush campaign headquarters in Florida suggests a plan - possibly in violation of US law - to disrupt voting in the state's African-American voting districts, a BBC Newsnight investigation reveals."

Thanks to www.electoral-vote.com for the link.

Voting rights

Will you vote next Tuesday, Nov. 2? It's a right -- and a duty -- some of us take for granted. But as of 2002, 84% of polling places nationwide were not accessible to people with disabilities. Exercise your right to vote, and remember the many ways in which you can make a difference by encouraging our legislators to put the basics of everyday life in reach for Americans with disabilities.

Andrea Knudsen
Editor, Easter Seals Online Network

New Architecture in Concrete Exhibit at the National Building Museum

Still in its testing phase, LiTraCon© is a light-conducting concrete stone block. Weird and great... Who knew concrete could be fun?

I was mad

Last night I was mad.

Actually I was upset about some stuff that went on this weekend so I decided to rechannel it as anger.

First I decided to be mad at the staff member (DB) who oversee the VOLUNTEER Girl Scout trainers for the Council I live in. In this Council, it is a "requirement" to train in uniform. Previously I was an apprentice trainer and DB asked me about it periodically but didn't press me. However, now that I'm an experienced trainer she hounds me about buying a uniform every time she talks to me.

So in my head I say, "DB, I am a young professional. The limited wardrobe budget I have is better spent on pieces I can wear to work all the time rather than pieces I will only wear about six evenings a year. And I can tell you those uniform pieces were not designed with the taste of 25-year-olds in mind. I work in a male-dominated field where wearing a GS uniform to work will not further my career. Besides, I've heard trainers in this Council tell leaders that the pins are the uniform--and I train while dressed professionally and wearing my pins. The leaders respect me because I have knowledge to share with them, not because of how I dress. So until the Council begins issuing uniforms as part of our training supplies, I'm not buying one. You don't like that--fine, I quit. My life is busy enough without this that I don't need to make time for a volunteer position where my needs and desires are not taken into consideration."

Then I decided to be mad at T. "Maybe it is my fault for never telling you straight out that I wanted to be more than friends with you and being afraid that I never meant as much to you as LEX did. But I don't want to hear about your new girlfriend. In fact, I don't want to hear from you at all for a while. Enjoy the game on Thursday. Bye."

This is where the anger began to fade a little and the upset started creeping back in. So I turned on a tape--loud enough to disrupt my quiet thoughts--and struggled to sleep.

Drunk witch 

Halloween Dogs 

Angie time

I spent Friday night doing exactly what I love to do on Friday nights--I rented a couple movies, brought home a pizza to bake and bottle of white wine, and spent some quality time with just me. I haven't had any time like that in months and it was such a great feeling to recharge my batteries with a quiet night at home.

Why Bush Opposes Dred Scott - It's code for Roe v. Wade

Why Bush Opposes Dred Scott - It's code for Roe v. Wade. By Timothy Noah

"In the Oct. 8 debate, President Bush baffled some people by saying he wouldn't appoint anyone to the Supreme Court who would condone the Dred Scott decision...What was the meaning of this borderline-incoherent ramble? Apparently, it was an invisible high-five to the Christian right... To the Christian right, "Dred Scott" turns out to be a code word for "Roe v. Wade." Even while stating as plain as day that he would apply "no litmus test," Bush was semaphoring to hard-core abortion opponents that he would indeed apply one crucial litmus test: He would never, ever, appoint a Supreme Court justice who condoned Roe.

Bush has a history of addressing the Christian right in code... let's not forget that Bush actually believes that God told him to become president. In an age less prone to religious hysteria than our own, this would be judged impious. Even now, it's pretty frightening to a significant minority, and Bush is going to need every last vote he can get. Hence the use of code phrases and jargon... if you happen to believe that abortion should remain legal in the United States, don't even think about giving Bush your vote."

Truth in labelling

Learning a lesson

Sunday, a little over an hour before I was supposed to be at the sorority house to oversee the final day of recruitment parties, I received a phone call summoning me to the emergency room to be with my friend D whose arm had been broken in a soccer game. (D-Don't feel guilty. Keep reading.) I took ten minutes before I left to make phone calls--making arrangements and notifying people I wouldn't be at the parties. There was some additional coordinating I did from the hospital while D was getting x-rays. But in the end, I spent eight hours at the hospital--while D was asleep it was the most relaxing time I'd had in over a week--and the parties at the sorority went successfully without me.

It was actually an amazing object lesson for me that I could hand over the plans I'd made and supplies I'd gathered, and others could carry out those plans without me. I didn't have to be there to run things or to supervise. Maybe this is a good lesson for me that I can let go of the chapter a little bit and things will continue to run without me.

Last night I was reminded of this because I was attending a chapter leadership meeting and the president asked me to step out for a couple minutes while they discussed something. I have to admit it did give me a little pause--they were likely either discussing an "unofficial" social event they probably had earlier in the week or perhaps some recognition for the alumnae and advisers who helped with the recruitment process. These women are adults and I'm trying to trust them to do the right thing without me pushing every minute.

Write like no one's reading

even my weakness says we're gonna be just fine: "You know that cheesy 'dance like no one's watching,' thing? I think I just discovered 'write like no one's reading.' Sort of. MK said blogging is like a journal with explanatory footnotes, but he said it in a much more clever way."

Happy Birthday Claire!

Today in Fiction
On October 20, 1918: Claire Beauchamp is born.
Outlander (1991)
by Diana Gabaldon

John Elway's politics

From Salon.com Politics: "The Republicans pushed back a little more this morning, releasing a letter from 24 athletes who support the president. 'The same qualities that make a great athlete make a great president,' they say. 'The determination to do what's right, regardless of the latest polls, the personal strength to bear the weight of the nation on your shoulders, and the faith that a higher power will direct the actions of good people.'

Now, we're not sure what any of that has to be do with being a great athlete, although we'll certainly concede that David Ortiz -- or whatever his name is -- didn't look at 'the latest polls' before launching a two-run shot last night. But apparently, the Bush-Cheney campaign was able to get 24 athletes, including the likes of John Elway, Karl Malone and and Mary Lou Retton -- to agree to the letter's language. "

Poor John Elway. So disappointed to see him supporting the wrong candidate, but it isn't surprising considering how wealthy he is. Oh, and we live in Colorado. Darned Republicans!

Putting on my game face

SWE is working with the local chapters of ASME, IEEE, NSPE, and SAME to host the first annual regional engineering social tonight. The vice president of my SWE section is the one who came up with the idea and has spearheaded the committee to organize it. I'm very excited about it.

I am embarrassed that the local section of ASCE, which is newly reformed, has not made an effort to attend. I am particularly embarrassed because the company I work for is active in the ASCE revitalization effort--my own division manager is the section officer responsible for programs. Hopefully when this opportunity comes around next year, and I feel confident this event will be come an annual affair, they will be in a position to contribute and participate.

Yesterday the SWE vice president called to confirm my participation tonight as a "greeter" and informed me that I would be expected to introduce myself and say a few words on behalf of SWE. Gulp. Time to put on my game face.

• I'm wearing a great power suit today--black with a knee-length straight skirt and periwinkle on the lapels to lighten it up.
• And heels. Nothing says power and confidence in a woman like good tall heels.
• Makeup is in my car, ready to be applied as I leave here.

You should see the looks I've gotten at work today. I should dress like this more often.

More electoral college alternatives

"Even without any changes, the system does offer some flexibility. In New York State, for example, there is a Liberal Party and a Conservative Party, and both are on the ballot at every election. The Liberal Party usually nominates the same person as the Democrats and the Conservative Party usually nominates the same person as the Republicans. As long as each party gets enough votes, it retains its status as a recognized party and gets on the ballot automatically at the next election. It has been suggested that if Ralph Nader were to choose the Kerry electors as his electors in each state he gets on the ballot, then people could express their support for him, and provide impetus to his movement, but a vote for Nader would (literally) be a vote for Kerry. This would no doubt encourage many people to vote for him knowing that such a vote would not help George Bush."

Funny!

From Cooking For Engineers:
"Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After a while you realize you are dirty and the pig likes it."

First, last and now

First

• First job: Besides babysitting, working at a movie theater my senior year of high school.


• First screen name: Amh1mo--a combination of my college email and snail mail addresses.


• First funeral: My Grandpa Joe's when I was 11. I was really upset that my brother and sister got to sit next to my other grandmother who was taking care of us and I didn't get to.


• First pet: Baby--a hamster. I talked my parents into buying us 2 hamsters for a science project. Too bad hamsters turned out to be colorblind. :)


• First piercing: Ears--first and only piercing site.


• First tattoo: None yet. I would love an anchor, but I'm afraid of needles.


• First credit card: Still have it.


• First kiss: Beside that kiss in the backseat of my parents' van when I was 5? With Anthony (24) when I was 17, in the projection room of the theater on Christmas Eve 1996.


• First enemy: Cory Tipton. She was really mean to me when were in second grade, but we ended up being friendly in middle school when she rejoined my Girl Scout troop.

Last

• Last car ride: To work this morning.


• Last kiss: With T during his visit in June.


• Last movie watched: Princess Diaries 2.


• Last beverage drank: Water from my company Nalgene.


• Last food consumed: Green apples and port wine cheese with a roast beef sandwich. Yum.


• Last phone call: From a sorority sister to get recruitment results.


• Last CD played: Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Room With A View.


• Last website visited: my email.

Now

• Single or taken: single.


• Gender: female.


• Birthday: August 11.


• Sign: Leo.


• Siblings: 2 - Kim and Ryan.


• Hair color: Dark brown.


• Eye color: Hazel.


• Shoe size: 9.5


• Height: 5'6"


• Wearing: black pants and a cardigan set.


• Drinking: still water.


• Thinking about: the utility service plan I'm supposed to be finishing.


• Listening to: the sounds of typing and clicking.

THE BEST NEWS EVER

Quota: 18
Our new member class: 18
Other sororities new member classes: 18 and 15
Our house total including new members: 62
Panhellenic house total: 60

Being above house total: priceless.

I've been grinning for three straight hours and it just won't stop. Out of our 18 new members, we got 14 out of our top 18 and all of our new members put us as their first choices on their bid cards.

For the first time in more than 8 years, we CAN'T COB!!!

A Grand Band Concert

A Grand Band Concert

One hundred years ago, the eyes and ears of the world turned to St. Louis — and the newly built campus of Washington University — for the 1904 World's Fair.

At 3 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 17, Washington University will honor that centenary with a performance by the Saint Louis Wind Symphony, under the direction of Dan Presgrave, instrumental music coordinator in the Department of Music in Arts & Sciences.

Proof of life

Proof that I haven't gotten enough sleep this week:
Last night/this morning at 2:30am, I was ready for bed but first had to put the two cakes cooling on my stove into the freezer so they would be ready to cut in the morning. Curious to see if my generous greasing and flouring made the cakes easier to turn out, I tipped one of the cakes up so it was perpendicular with the floor. The left side of my brain didn't kick in to tell me this was a bad idea until the cake bailed onto the floor in pieces. So now I need to bake an extra cake tonight. Arg.

Proof that today is the first day of recruitment:
I'm tired, nauseous, and have no ability to focus on anything. I am relying on lists to be sure I get everything done. I left my cell phone at home this morning. I just want the clock to hurry up so I can get out of here!

My personal pastry chef

When Scott moved here, he knew the conditions.

He arrived at the Colorado Springs Airport, afraid he wouldn't recognize me having only met me a couple times when his sister and I were in college together. She was my best friend and so her brother felt comfortable calling me when he got a job in Colorado and asking to stay with me for a weekend while he became familiar with the area and looked for an apartment.

As he came out of security, I saw him. He walked up to me and I introduced him to the older couple I was standing with--the sorority alumnae chapter president and her husband. Definitely a sign of things to come.

I had warned him before he came that I had some sorority committments that weekend--chaperoning a social event on Saturday night and attending a brunch on Sunday morning. I had to bring something to the Sunday brunch so he and I debated the possibilities. We decided on mini-cheesecakes, which is how we found ourselves at the grocery store buying cheesecake ingredients--without a recipe--after midnight on Saturday night/Sunday morning.

At 4am, having successfully baked four dozen mini-cheesecakes--remember, no recipe--and attempted to watch the most confusing episode of ER ever, we caught a few ZZZs before the brunch in the morning.

Once he moved here, I suckered him into being a food consultant for recruitment last year--which explains how we ended up making fruit kabobs in his apartment one night and how he ended up practically locked in the sorority house kitchen during the last day of parties decorating mini-cakes.

So this spring I gave him the dates for recruitment and he's like, "Well, I may be out of town around then, but we'll work it out." He buys a plane ticket, and sure enough, his three-week trip home means he won't be here for recruitment.

So I'm making 6 yellow cakes, freezing them and cutting them into rounds, meanwhile cursing my absent pastry chef. From now on I will hold him captive during the month of October.

Lies of omission

Yesterday I posted about I often fantasize about men I know as I go to bed. (Get your mind out of the gutter!) I admitted to thinking about T even though I'm not proud of it. Well, there is someone else who keeps appearing in my fantasies--his name is PJ.

I was fine until I saw him in Chicago for the 4th. After we broke up I had to convince myself that I didn't like who he'd become. I think that was legitimate--I didn't like the PJ who wore glasses, applied to Rabbinical school and dated the giggly freshman who shall not be named. But seeing him that night, he was the 25-year-old version of the 18-year-old I fell for. He drank beer and was able to casually hang out, but he still has every moment of his life planned and in him I could see the freshman who always did his laundry at 1:30pm on Tuesdays. I think PJ may be the only person in the world who would say that he was excited about reconnecting with his old friends because he wanted friends in his life who didn't think of him exclusively as a rabbinical student--who else analyzes their friends that way? I was immediately attracted to PJ the first night I met him in Connie's room freshman year and I felt the same way that night. If he and I lived in the same place now, I would be in trouble.

We're trying to be friendly now. We send the occasional email and we've talked on the phone once. But it is still a little stilted and I work hard to be breezy. (Remember that Friends episode where Monica finds a message from Tom Selleck on her machine after they've broken up? "Old or new? Old or new?" So she calls his machine and totally negates her breezy message when she says "I'm breezy.") In fact, even when I want to immediately respond to his emails, I make myself wait a couple days.

So in my head I imagine a day when he is a rabbi in Denver, our friendship rekindled and once more leading us to become more than friends. I know it will never happen but it is still a nice picture to fall asleep to.


(This does raise an interesting issue of how men can be perfect when I fantasize about them and essentially I'm creating an ideal man from the template of an existing one. But I'll put that off for another time. )

A diamond is forever

I did have more weird dreams last night, but this actually happened...

T: So, say we'd been dating for three years and I was going to do the whole "getting down on one knee, asking you to marry me" thing. How would you feel if I'd gotten the diamond from a friend of mine who used it to propose to his girlfriend?
A: I'm trying to be rational. The consumer part of me knows that it shouldn't matter but the sentimental part of me is not okay with that. Don't do it.
T: Even if it is just the diamond and not the ring.
A: Nope--don't do it.
T: So girls just want us to spend more money on them.
A: No, we just want our ring to representative of our unique relationship and it doesn't feel like it is unique if the diamond was already given to another girl.
T: But the diamond has already been around a long time. They take a long time to be formed.
A: Still.
T: But what if a jeweler sold you a ring that had been given to someone else.
A: If I didn't know it would be okay.
T: So a third party "sanitizes" it?
A: No, it is just okay if I don't know.
T: Would it be okay if I bought it off eBay and you didn't know whose ring it had been?
A: No. Besides, girls have specific preferences about what they want. You know--what style, white gold, yellow gold, platinum. Personally I want yellow gold.
T: Yeah, but it's a diamond.
A: But girls are going to want a specific cut--marquis, princess, pear-shaped, emerald.
(Silence)
A: A pear-shaped diamond is rounded at one end and tapers to a point at the other--they make your fingers look long and slender. Emerald cut is rectangular...
T: I'm a guy--I don't care about diamonds. I think the whole "buy a girl something expensive that has the potential to cut things" is dumb.

Bad dreams - part 2

I like to daydream as I go to sleep--ironic since it is definitely night, but you know what I mean. I've always liked to inhabit a fantasy as I drift off--sometimes it is thoughts about what I might do the next day, how to handle a situation I'm dealing with, or what I might do if I won Powerball. Let's be honest here--generally it is about a man. Sometimes it is about an imaginary dream man and sometimes it is about a real man. The real man varies but typically he is a man that I've had feelings for in the past (or do currently). For example, last night as I was drifting off, I curled onto my side and imagined I was cuddling up to T on the other side of my bed.

In the middle of the night I dreamt that I had just finished a seminar or meeting (sorority-related, probably) and on my way to bed ended up climbing the stairs in T's house and joining him in bed in his guest room. (Some of you know why I would picture him sleeping in his guest room.) He was already asleep and I went to curl up against his right side. It was so weird--he was kind of curled up and I had to keep nudging him to get him to uncurl so I could nestle in next to him. I'm sure that has some meaning in dream analysis--or we could go with the obvious reason--he doesn't really want me curling up in bed with him. After that the dream got really weird and it becomes pretty fuzzy in my head.

I would really just like some quiet restful sleep this week. There is too much going on in my waking hours for me to have eventful nights too.

Bad dreams

I had bad dreams last night. Every time I woke up this morning my mind was racing about sorority stuff--primarily focused on the fact that we are going to have to do COB.

Non-Greek translation: there are two numbers that matter to sorority chapters when they are recruiting: quota and total. Quota is the number of women that Panhellenic (the body that governs all national sororities) allows each chapter to take during recruitment ("rush"). Total is the largest number of total members every chapter can have. Every sorority chapter strives to recruit quota and be at total.

COB stands for continuous open bidding and it means recruiting new members outside of formal recruitment. Specifically in this case it means that once recruitment is done on Monday, they will have three additional events over the next two weeks that they will invite interested women to and try to convince them to join the chapter.

This chapter has done COB every semester for years so it is nothing new, but the difference this fall is that we were all assuming in our heads that quota would be large enough from formal recruitment that if we took quota the chapter would be at or above total--no COB actually necessary. Last night I found out that despite a record large class of freshmen, there are actually less women going through recruitment than last year. Maybe it is because of the alcohol-related deaths in Colorado which both took place at fraternity houses or maybe it is because this year their publicity for recruitment has been less involved and less successful. With the smaller number of women starting in recruitment, it is doubtful that quota will be big enough to put the chapter at total.

I really hate it when my stress invades my dreams too.

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Coming to DVD in 2005!

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Confirmed: WB to start series in '05: "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - Confirmed: WB to start series in '05
Posted by Gord Lacey
10/11/2004


Neil Ottenstein emailed us earlier today to tell us he heard a rumor that Lois & Clark would be released in 2005. We've asked Warner Bros about the series a few times over the past year and they've told us they're looking into it, and that they'd like to release the set, but it's never been scheduled. This morning we decided to follow up on the series again, and we were told that they are working on the set, and it'll be released sometime in 2005. We asked them to narrow it down, but they were reluctant to do so since the date could change. We'll keep you updated with any information we receive.

The news should make Dean Cain happy, as he expressed interest in seeing the show on DVD last December. I also had the pleasure of speaking with Justin Whalin (Jimmy Olsen #2) when I was in Las Vegas this past July and he was excited at the thought of seeing the show on DVD."

Debate news

Watch the debates tonight and appreciate my alma mater!

I was a senior at WashU in 2000 for the last presidential debate there. We watched out the window of our apartment as Gore arrived drove onto campus--the Secret Service had the ends of the machine guns were pointing out the windows of their black SUVs with tinted windows. Creepy, but cool at the same time.

Boston.com / News / Politics / debates / Photos undermine Cheney's assertion he never met Edwards: "But Democrats have unearthed photographic evidence showing otherwise."

Joining Project Gene the Marine

The famous (possibly infamous) Fish from This Fish Needs a Bicycle, knows of an injured Marine named Gene who would like emails from the ladies. Join us in this valiant war effort!

P.S. If you aren't reading This Fish, you should be! Wow--I've been bossy this week, haven't I?

Me@Gmail?

After reading Fish's post this morning, I put out a plea for a gmail invite. Fish herself sent me one! I love the idea of being a member of the club, but I'm still on the fence. Witness my inner dialogue:
Pro: practically unlimited storage. Considering I'm using 8.1/10 Mgs @ mail.com, this would be nice.
Pro: searchability function sounds awesome.
Pro: Google text ads are incredibly superior to the annoying banner and click-thru ads I deal with now.
Con: There's been a lot of press about privacy concerns with gmail. Reading the info from Google about it has made it seem like a lot of hype about nothing, but I'm still a little wary. Any personal experiences to share with me?
Con: I don't know what user name to choose. With this much storage, a gmail account could be with me forever. Angineer? Angie? ALastname? Lastname might hopefully change in next few years, so that seems like a bad plan. Too bad I didn't think about that before I set up my alumni alias. Oh well. Any other ideas?

So far the pros have it...

Obsessing

1. Mini Reese's Pieces are 100 times cuter than regular Reese's Pieces and come in a really cool plastic container with a snap-open, snap-closed lid. The container is so cool that I want to find something else to put in it.
2. Why do there seem to be more orange and brown Reese's Pieces than yellow? I like the yellow.
3. Effective marketing tie-in--I can't help but think about E.T. when I eat Reese's Pieces. I haven't seen E.T. in many years because the part with the government scared me when I first saw it.
4. I hate to admit it but I kind of like How@rd Stern's TV show on E! (See my last entry.) We'll call it a guilty pleasure. And I like his hair--even better when it's shorter. But he looks a little creepy without his sunglasses on.
5. Why are M&Ms smoother than Reese's Pieces?
6. Have you ever noticed that the peanut butter filling in Peanut Butter M&Ms is darker brown and saltier than the inside of Reese's Pieces?
7. I always share my Reese's Pieces with Maggie and Brandy.
8. Did you know that Reese's Peanut Butter Cups is one of the chocolate candy mascots that wanders around Hershey Park? Oh, and the street lights in Hershey, PA look like Hershey's Kisses.




Oh, and if you aren't watching Gilmore Girls, start now. Seriously.

Like a virgin

In the post I wrote yesterday, I quoted a passage which included this line, "suddenly our virgin is forty and has never been kissed." I think that is very rare these days--despite advertising in a cute movie with Drew Barrymore and the hot Michael Vartan. Judging from my own anecdotal evidence, I think most virgins don't restrict themselves from all sexual contact--they draw their own lines for what behavior is appropriate and use that to guide their conduct. Using my own personal definition for virginity, there is still a lot of room for fun without violating that standard.

The thing I find most interesting about this phenomenon is that individuals have different definitions of virginity. I'm a pretty traditional girl and I think my definition of virginity reflects that. I can think of a couple of other women who seem to share that view with me. My friend T disagrees. While I've never pressed him to tell me his definition of s*x, his is more liberal than mine, which surprised me. Partially it surprised me because I thought my definition of s*x was universal, but also because I wouldn't have expected him to have a more liberal definition. My expectation is a product of my expectation that men are all about s*x and don't want anything less. (To be fair, I should reveal that I've never had a boyfriend give me an ultimatum or put me in a situation where I was uncomfortable.) Despite the fact that I know my definition of s*x is correct, I see T's point. Some of the moments I've shared with men have been quite intimate--perhaps even more intimate than s*x in some situations. I also realize that my definition is heterosexist. Sorry, but it reflects my personal experience and perspective. Realizing that this definition is more fluid than I once imagined makes me pause and reconsider some of my opinions and decisions. Not enough to change them, but something to make me think.

being jennifer garrett: Too much yet not enough

"Normally, I listen to a CD while I drive to work. This morning, I listened to How@rd Stern because I couldn't help myself. I want to make this perfectly clear: It wasn't my fault. The first thing I heard when I started my car was How@rd asking some woman what she would do with her boyfriend before they got married, as she didn't believe in sex before marriage (this is how people end up married at 18). How could I turn that off? It's dirty and funny at the same time, in the way that only How@rd can be. So I keep listening, and it turns out the woman in question is Erica Durance, soon to be Lois Lane on Smallville. It's a little freaky knowing what Lois Lane did sexually, what was and wasn't okay, and what did and did not count as 'sex.' It also gave me one of those great 'huh?' moments -- you know, when you really just can't comprehend why anyone would do such a thing. Not that I'm not saving myself for marriage, too, but I just don't understand why all of these activities are okay, but this one in particular is not. I'm baffled. As usual." (Find this entry, dated 9/21, here.)

Cheney needs fact checker

Cheney Plugs FactCheck

"Cheney got our domain name wrong -- calling us 'FactCheck.com' -- and wrongly implied that we had rebutted allegations Edwards was making about what Cheney had done as chief executive officer of Halliburton.
In fact, we did post an article pointing out that Cheney hasn't profited personally while in office from Halliburton's Iraq contracts, as falsely implied by a Kerry TV ad. But Edwards was talking about Cheney's responsibility for earlier Halliburton troubles. And in fact, Edwards was mostly right."

Meanwhile, visiting factcheck.com redirects you to GeorgeSoros.com--the site of a billionare investor and philanthropist who is touring the country encouraging people to vote against W this fall. (I'd love to know if he had that domain name before the debate last night.)

Thanks to BoingBoing for this link.

Another story

When I was on the phone with T last night, he told me a story that I don't remember ever hearing before--about a girl he was dating and how she waited until the LAST POSSIBLE (his emphasis) second to tell him that she was a virgin. He was using this anecdote as an example of how this girlfriend was not very straight-forward and how communication was poor between them, but that isn't what has stuck with me.

I took the girl's side in this conversation. I don't agree with waiting that long to tell someone, but I can certainly understand her reluctance to tell him. T made a good point that if you are going to have s*x with someone, that you should be able to tell them anything, and I completely agree. But I think that the older a woman gets, the more noteworthy a prospective partner would find her virginity and the more pressure he would feel. If you've waited long past the average these days, your partner may make assumptions about you--your beliefs or how you feel about him--when he finds out that he is to be your first. Perhaps those assumptions are correct or you don't mind having them made about you, but if you've chosen this man and this moment simply because it is the right time for you, maybe you don't want those assumptions made. So is it okay to wait to share that information or not to share it at all? I don't know.

Another perspective: (Check out the link--the show sounds like fun!)

Em & Lo's Sex Ed for Grown Ups: "you should note that a self-imposed bout of celibacy, especially one initiated for your particular reasons, can have its own downsides. Like virgins who are postponing sex until they find the perfect partner with whom to 'share their gift,' you run the risk of overbilling the big event. With every passing year that said virgin waits to have sex, the stakes are raised and thus the more perfect that perfect partner needs to be. In fact, no one can be that perfect, and suddenly our virgin is forty and has never been kissed. While we applaud your decision to take sex a little more seriously, we would hate to see you build it up to be this monolithic, mythical thing. Even if you think you've eventually found someone to connect with on all fundamental levels, you won't be able to connect with him on all levels. Also, knighting him as The Worthy One puts a lot of pressure on him and on the relationship to meet your hyper-high expectations. With any relationship, there are bound to be at least a few disappointments. Waiting to have sex until you feel totally comfortable may help decrease the potential disappointments, but it will never get rid of them completely. And don't forget that sex is just another 'fundamental level' you need to connect on. "

I wouldn't vote for Bush if I were you

Visit http://www.lowercasetee.com/ to order this shirt or a shirt with the title of this entry. Wish I knew a liberal family to buy these for...

P.S. This picture is from St. Peters, MO.

Moving on

T found someone else. He's very happy about it, although I should put in the disclaimer that last night was their third date. I was a little hurt and jealous hearing about her, but it sounds like she is a much better match for him than I am. (Again, remember--only third date.)

Honestly it is just a wake up call that we've been using each other. It has been comforting to have someone to hold on to emotionally. And it has been a nice feeling to think I had someone of the opposite sex in my life. But I think everyone, he and I included, knew it wasn't really going to happen. And now I'm facing the same situation I've been trying to ignore for a long time now--I need more people in my life. I need men who actually live here as well as friends who aren't just people I work with in one of my various commitments, who are close to my age, that I can setup with David, etc. Of course, it would help if I cleared a few of those commitments so I had time to spend with these friends I'm looking to acquire.

Applications being accepted now...

Counting thoughts

I'm sure you feel like I've been neglecting you, but I swear you've been on my mind. I have 8 draft blog entries in various states of construction, waiting for me to finish and post them. I've been attempting to focus at work and not write novels instead, and unfortunately I've been too tired or frustrated to finish them at home. Now I need to finish some work and head off to a sorority meeting, so it looks like you'll go one more day without a substantive post. Sorry.

P.S. I just finished Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich. Stephanie lives with Ranger. He's so hot! (And yes, I realize he's imaginary. Don't ruin this for me.) If you haven't read this series yet, shame on you!
P.P.S. ABC Family was running a Gilmore Girls marathon yesterday because they start showing Gilmore Girls every afternoon today! It is so funny and charming--I think we got my mom hooked. Tune in every afternoon or for new episodes on Tuesday nights on the WB. I'll be happy to fill you in on what you might've missed if you haven't been watching!