Those infamous teacakes

We were 16 and 17 and working to complete the "Creative Cooking" Girl Scout Interest Project Award (badge). Per one of the requirements, we were planning a theme party for a couple of our best friends and all our mothers. The theme we had chosen? A mad hatter's tea party.

Ahead of the event we researched recipes and planned menus, trying to make healthy choices, and made our budget. Then came the prep. We worked together in my friend's kitchen to make our teacakes from one of her recipe books. Once they were finished, we decorated them with icing and were ready to serve them.

The party started. Sitting around her family's dining room table were four moms and our two best friends--all wearing ridiculous hats. We brought out the teacakes and they started to laugh. The moms were laughing even louder than our friends. Why? Keeping to the theme, the teacakes had "Alice"-appropriate messages on them; the predominant message was "Eat Me."

Dirty minds.

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My friend is getting married next summer and, as requested, those teacakes will be making an appearance at the bachelorette party.

Thankful

I am thankful for:

• the continued good health and happiness of my family, particularly my grandmothers
• the strength that my friends show as they encounter difficult issues
• working with amazing college women to grow and strengthen their chapter
• having friends here who drag me out to have fun
• having friends from forever who know all the parts of me
• being best friends with my sister and brother
• having a very close-knit family to share this holiday with
• being able to maintain a lifestyle I enjoy

A thankful family

My project engineer had her first baby this afternoon. A little girl--6 lbs, 14 ounces and 21 inches long. Her husband even made it through the delivery without fainting and her parents will be here tonight to meet their new grandchild.

What a blessing.

Asking for it?

DB, the GS training supervisor, just called me to check in on how my training last week. After clarifying a few comments I put on the evaluation sheet, she asked what I wore when trained. (Trainers in this council are required to train in uniform and I don't have one, as I've previously discussed).

"I wore my pins. I don't have a uniform." I said defiantly.

"What can I do to help you get one?" she asked again.

"To be honest, it isn't a priority for me. I don't feel a need to rush out and buy something I will only wear six evenings a year."

"It is an expectation our Executive Director has. And I would like it if you would..." she started.

"I understand that. And I understand why," I said, naming some of her reasons. "But I am a volunteer and I don't believe I should be required to buy something so I can share my knowledge and time with the Council."

"But it isn't a financial issue? Because there might be some assistance I could look into."

"No, it isn't a financial issue."

"Okay, well, I'll have to get back to you about this, because this is an expectation the executive director has."

"Thanks, DB."

So, conceivably, I might be FIRED from my VOLUNTEER position because I refuse to BUY a uniform to wear. Oh well, more free evenings for me.

What do you say?

What do you say when:

• one of your coworkers tells you that she cried all morning because she delivered divorce papers to her husband last night? She tries to convince you should both wear Santa-type outfits to the company Christmas party?
• one of your friends surprises you by compromising when you didn't expect her to?
• your best friend tells you that her beloved grandfather, your surrogate grandfather, is in intensive care?
• one of your good friends casually reveals he is gay? And that you can't tell one of your good friends--his sister?
• you find out that a best friend's parents--adults who have been Girl Scout leaders and career mentors to you--have separated under ugly circumstances? And you spend a few minutes talking to her mom on the phone about it?
• you realize your little brother has grown up to be an amazing and caring human being?

Click

My phone rang about a half-hour after I got to work this morning.

"Hello, this is Angie."
"Hello, this is T."
"Hey."
"I didn't want you to think that I wasn't returning your call. I just got back from Mexico."
"I forgot about your trip. How was it?"
"Good."
"So you're not going to work today?" (He was obviously not calling from work and it was 10am his time.)
"Looks that way."
"When'd you get in?"
"Last night. I flew through Charlotte and I ended up sitting next to a guy I work with on the plane."
"Wow--what a small world. I had a small world experience recently myself." I briefly explained to him the recently drama about C moving near me and also about finding out that PJ was invited to her most recent wedding.
"Weird. I've got to go."
"Oh, okay--"
He interrupts me, "Bye."
Click.

Time in a bottle

Tonight the fog was lying low over the city, making me feel like I was living in a fairy tale—a fitting end to a pretty perfect day.

• Brunch in a cozy spot in the midst of an icy wonderland with a high school friend.
• An afternoon nap while the Broncos won.
• Meeting with two chapter members and knowing that the chapter will be recognized nationally for their excellence again.
• Having the issue of too many potential chapter leaders for the election tomorrow.
• Spending a couple hours with a senior member of the chapter discussing issues for the election.
• Buying ingredients for my aunt’s cherry-wine jello—a nod to the years of Thanksgiving spent in Illinois and my contribution to my Colorado family’s tradition.

Touching

“Everyone gets touched by someone they love.” – Life As A House

There was lots of touching going on tonight. I went to my first strip club ever. I’m still buzzed. Considering I drove myself home, that probably isn’t a good statement to make. But I even stopped on the way and took digital pictures of a site I’ve been working on. It was an interesting evening.

My first set of social plans for the evening was all girls—I’m hopeless, I know. But I’m looking to make more friends here, even if they are female, so I joined some girls for dinner and the new Bridget Jones movie. Dinner was good—a bonding experience for me and my coworker Brandy—and the movie was fun. I won’t claim it is great cinema, but it still had the fun feel of the first and there were lots of great girly moments. Some cringing for her too, but that’s to be expected and makes it kind of real.

Then I called J and headed to meet her at the strip club like I promised. Ack. I walked in and was immediately drawn into her drunken drama. It gave me something to focus on until the alcohol took the edge off of the awkwardness and the worry about where to look. Soon J’s psycho friend ordered us all shots and between that and the Long Island I was feeling a little dizzy and a lot more relaxed. Then came J’s first dance. Destiny was cool—even retrieving the key for the handcuffs.

During J’s second dance I’m making mental notes about what Destiny is doing and trying not to look like I’m paying too much attention when she turns to me. Leaning towards me, she grabs the stick of my Blow-Pop out of my mouth, shows the lollipop to J who laughs, and then puts it back in my mouth. As long as she’s directly facing one of us, there is life in her eyes. It is only what she isn’t looking at us that you can tell she’s working.

J and D have developed quite an affection for Destiny—they also watched her dance on one of the side stages and sat on the edge of the main stage for her act after J’s second dance. After that, they’re ready to head home and we all get out of there.

Reid asked when I talked to him earlier this week why I was going to a strip club. I didn’t really answer him. Because T wanted a lap dance and I didn’t know what to do. Because J and D were going and they wanted me to come. Because I’m curious. I still don’t know.

"Teen virginity is no longer the obsession it was in the 80s." – Retrosexual: Teen Sex on VH1

My sister

My sister and I are polar opposites.

She wears silver; I wear gold. I'm an engineer and she hates math. When we were little, she was the social one while I was shy. Her taste in clothing is young and a little trendy but I've been told I dress like a 40-year-old.

My sister and I are exactly the same.

We are both afraid of failing--sometimes so afraid that we fail because we're afraid to try. My sister and I are both incredibly close to our family and loyal to the friends we've had for years. We're both waiting. She and I are never known for keeping our living spaces neat, but the state of those spaces is both indicative of and a contributor to our states of mind. We're both afraid of commitment, so much so that we've both lost people we cared about because we were afraid to commit to them.

PC scheduling

Last night at happy hour we scheduled our next activity--dinner and a movie. Preparing to send out an email about this today, I realized that the date we chose is the Friday night of Chanukah. There is only one person (out of 10-15) in our group that might be affected by this and I doubt she would join us on a Friday night anyway. But is it important to move the date to appear PC, even if will likely have no effect on who participates? I'm extra-tempted to be PC because even though I don't think C will come, I want her to feel welcome.

TMI

Sitting at happy hour yesterday, J turns to me and says:

"So, if you're looking for a good waxer, I can give you a recommendation."

"Cool," I say.

"You know, if you want them to go down there, you have to draw their attention there. But the best part is like no maintenance if you go every six weeks."

Her husband D breaks in, "Yeah, it is best if you're trimmed--but not too close--before you go in. I was kind of furry..."

"We missed our last appointment," J explains.

D continued. "And so it hurt when she did the first side. But she trimmed before she did the second side and it was like, 'Ah.'"

Too much information.

Overheard

In the cubicle across the aisle:

"Do you know where the jib-jab is? Have you seen the jib-jab?"

What does that mean?

Ways to charm me

Call and leave riddles on my voicemail to entice me to return your call.

Or sing a song from my favorite artist.

Barry's wisdom

Last night, I saw my favorite musician in concert. Yes, my favorite musician is Barry Manilow. Deal with it.

A few entertaining snippets from last night's concert:

"I'm Barry Manilow and this is what Clay Aiken is going to look like in 30 years." - Starting out the evening with a laugh.

"If they do a Broadway show based on 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory', he should play Willy Wonka." - My sister, describing Barry's first outfit--a long black suit coat and striped pants. He changed mid-set twice and once during intermission--bringing us to a total of 4 outfits for the evening.

"I'm following the doctor's orders. I took antibiotics. Before I came out I took Contact, Sudafed and Robitussen. I may sound like sh*t, but I feel fabulous!" - Barry, apologizing for his bronchitis that postponed Sunday's show.

"That's one of my favorite composers. After that rendition, now he's decomposing. And while we're in the classical mood, here's a Chopin tune I've butchered." - Barry, between the a capella version of the "William Tell Overture" with his backup singers and "Could It Be Magic?", based on Chopin's "Prelude in C".

"If she comes down with bronchitis, we'll know where she got it." - Me, to my sister, after Julie, the audience member Barry chose to sing "Can't Smile Without You" with, gave him a long kiss on her way offstage. (Her sign said, "End the torture" and was bordered with white lights.)

"Ew, that's dirty!" - My sister, when Barry sat on the piano while Julie stood in between his legs in front of him.

"When I sing this song here (in the corner of the stage), the lighting is great but these things (aluminum stair railings) are so uncomfortable to sit on. Mostly because I have no @ss. Would anyone let me borrow their @ss?" Yes, there were volunteers. However he felt, that particular song made my heart hurt because it was so beautiful.

"Isn't this the best music?" - The man in front of us to his wife.

Yes, it is.

Like that ride at Disneyland

I wrote my note to C without telling anyone about it. I didn't think she would write back but I wanted to help her find a place here, the way she helped me find a place in our collegiate chapter. Unexpectedly, only two days after I mailed it, she called me. The first thing she did was thank me for writing her because it offered her the opportunity to apologize to me. "I did some things in college I'm not proud of," she said, "and I'm glad to finally be able to apologize to you for them." She never said, and I never asked, why she was apologizing, but I'm glad to know she now regrets whatever she did to interfere in my relationship with S.

After catching up for 45 minutes, she told me about her divorce and her son. She seemed surprised that I already knew about them and I should've expected her follow-up question. "How did you get my address?"

I lied.

She knew even better than I did that our sorority didn't have her address, but I stuck to my story, hoping that I could keep my relationships with S and C completely separate. Despite some misgivings about the lie, I thought it could work--at least until I'd re-established my friendship with her and could be honest. I never imagined she would email S.

The phone call came frantically the next day--"She's emailed me--I need to know what's going on!" And after I explained, he chose to tell her the truth--that he shared her address with me--and I didn't protest because their relationship is more important than the fact that my lie was exposed.

Despite that revelation, she chose to attend our sorority event just a few days later and even carpooled with me. True to form, I didn't bring up the subject and she waited to bring it up until I was about to drop her off. "I emailed S and thanked him for giving you my address," she opened. "I'm not surprised you're in contact with him--S likes the familiar."

For my part, I apologized and volunteered that I only want to be able to be friends with both without having their divorce and continuing struggles be an issue. C believes it can happen. I hope so.

Less than six degrees

On a side note... discussing C's second wedding, she revealed that her husband is friends with a number of rabbinical students. I said, "Oh, I have a friend who is a rabbinical student."

"What's his name?" she asked.

When I told her, she said, "Yeah, he was invited to our wedding. He played poker with my husband. Did he go to college with us? I didn't realize."

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Let's play the six degrees game... this means that:
1. I met PJ in September.
2. I met C the following January.
3. She introduced me to S (that September) and then contributed to our breakup about a month later.
4. The following March I started dating PJ and we broke up in August.
5. Four years later, PJ was invited to C's wedding (following her divorce with S).

So weird. {shudder}

Revealed

My phone rang one night, a little over two years since I graduated from college and the night when I had last seen S and C. I was shocked to find S on the other end of the line--living with a friend while waiting for his divorce from C to become final.

After that first call, the calls gradually became more frequent. I continued to learn more about their marriage, divorce and the demise of my long-ago relationship with him. As we developed this new friendship, he found out that she had married again--less than six months after their divorce was finalized. A few months after her marriage, he flew back to allow their baby to be adopted by her new husband, generously relinquishing his parental rights so his son could have a normal childhood and not be shuttled from state to state for holidays and visits. And I learned that the end of my relationship with S had been hastened by C making inappropriate overatures and propositions.

While all of this explained his state of mind, little of it affected me--until a call from S about a month ago. "I heard C's moved to Colorado--your town, I think." When court documents arrived a couple weeks later, he called with her address--less than 3 miles from my home.

Despite the way their divorce had hurt S, and his allegations that she had interfered inappropriately in our relationship, I still had fond memories of the gestures she made to me as a sorority sister. I wanted to see her and to share the sorority sisterhood with her once again, so I wrote her a letter.

Coming soon... her response.

Twisted

Shortly after S and I broke up, I stopped by his suite to drop off a few things of his. When I got there, C was there. Nothing unusual about that--they were best friends and study buddies--but something gave me the impression they were more than friends and the sorority grapevine soon confirmed my suspicions.

Don't get me wrong. My relationship with S was brief and I wasn't hurt by his relationship with C. It never occurred to me that something inappropriate might've happened between them during our relationship and to me, like most of my sorority sisters, their relationship seemed like an inevitable and natural conclusion.

About a year later, C announced that she and S were getting married. At this point, I was genuinely happy for her and enjoyed telling this story--it seemed like a great anecdote to tell friends. Something that continued until the next time I heard from S.

Coming soon... revelations from S.

My semi-blind setup date

One evening that fall I ran into C at one of the fine campus dining establishments where she was grabbing food with her best friend and study partner, S. After she introduced us, we spent a moment debating Brett Favre v. John Elway. (Obviously John Elway is the better quarterback.) Then their food was ready and we went our separate ways.

A couple weeks later my sorority chapter announced an upcoming setup party. Typically, due to my shyness and non-Greek-appropriate guy friend pool, I would've skipped this party. But C approached me and said that S had liked me when he met me and maybe we would enjoy going together. She asked me to keep an eye out for a date for her and I felt bad but couldn't return the favor for her and she found her own date.

This is how S and I ended up having dinner with C and her date before the setup party. It seems to me that the setup party was a typical sorority party--dark and loud, but honestly it didn't make an impact on me. What I remember is that S was very nice. And when he asked me to go out with him again, I was excited to.

We dated for a month or so, but unfortunately circumstances seemed to play against us. On Halloween weekend, S broke up with me and "popped my happy bubble."

Coming soon... the twist you've been waiting for.

Sorority sisterhood

Driving back from celebrating my first Founders' Day as a sorority member, I was riding in C's car with my pledge mom and a couple of her friends. Our spring formal was that night and everyone was discussing who they were going with, what they were wearing, and how they were going to pre-party. I stayed silent through the conversation because I had decided not to go. Being shy I didn't feel comfortable enough with my sorority sisters to go solo and there wasn't a boy in my life I felt comfortable bringing. C, the driver, turned around and said, "Angie, who are you going with?"

Faced with this direct question, I was forced to admit I wasn't going. When C asked why, and I explained that I didn't have a date so I hadn't RSVPed, C matter-of-factly said, "No way are you going to miss your first formal. I lined up a bunch of boys from my business fraternity to set up with my sisters and I think there is one I still haven't setup yet. When we get back, I'll call him and make sure he's still free. Do you have something to wear?"

Wow. No one had ever done anything like that for me. With a few phone calls that afternoon, everything was arranged. My date (that business fraternity pledge) and I went to C's apartment off-campus for her pre-party and then onto the formal. While he was nothing special, I never forgot what C had done for me and the story of her kindness was one I told for years as an example of the bonds of sorority sisterhood.

Coming soon... C sets me up on another date.

One of my most embarassing moments

I was 12, walking backwards while talking to the boy who was my best friend and object of my affection. We were at the Colorado Governor's Mansion having both just won awards for music composition. My family was walking ahead of us while his parents were trailing behind. All of sudden, I felt something hard behind my foot and I lost my balance, falling backwards into a seated position in a CONCRETE FOUNTAIN. My head tipped backward because of the momentum and banged into the large pedestal in the center.

Luckily the concrete fountain was not filled with water and the only thing hurt was my pride.

I hope you've enjoyed this moment of humor. I've been tired of the unhappy political posts on my blog. I was tempted to delete them, but instead I thought I would start spreading a smile around the internet. Feel free to join in.

CNN.com - Elizabeth Edwards diagnosed with breast cancer - Nov 4, 2004

CNN.com - Elizabeth Edwards diagnosed with breast cancer - Nov 4, 2004: "WASHINGTON (AP) -- Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards, was diagnosed with breast cancer the day her husband and Sen. John Kerry conceded the presidential race."

How sad. My thoughts are with the Edwards family.

Ashcroft Expected to Resign

Sources: Ashcroft Expected to Resign "President Bush is laying the groundwork on how to achieve his second-term agenda Thursday, first by meeting with his Cabinet, then by holding a news conference where he is expected to outline plans for his next four years in office...

'I made it clear to them [the Cabinet] I was glad the election was over and reminded them that we're here for a reason,' Bush said at the meeting, his first with the Cabinet since Aug. 2. 'They understand that it's such an honor to serve America, it's a privileged to sit around this table … and do the nation's business.'"

It is an honor to serve this country. Too bad the president couldn't be bothered to serve the country between August 2nd and now. That is over three months without a cabinet meeting.

But on the plus side, various news outlets, including CNN, are reporting that Ashcroft is expected to turn in his resignation in the next couple of weeks. There is speculation he is resigning for health reasons. I don't wish ill health on him, but I do wish for a more moderate Department of Justice.

Ohio Conspiracy Theories

Our heroine, unwilling to give up her hope for Kerry's election despite his apparent concession, passes on this interesting tidbit. Look here for more info about the need for paper trails.

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004: "One thing that is very strange is how much the exit polls differed from the final results, especially in Ohio. Remember that Ohio uses Diebold voting machines in many areas. These machines have no paper trail. Early in the campaign, Diebold CEO Walden O'Dell, a GOP fundraiser, promised to deliver Ohio to Bush. He later regretted having said that."

Passions running high

Rocky Mountain News: Columnists: "In Sarasota, Fla., a guy was charged with actually trying to run over Katherine Harris, saying he was exercising his 'political expression.' It could be the first hit-and-run First Amendment defense.

In the same week, in West Palm Beach, a man threatened his girlfriend with a screwdriver because she wanted to leave him - and vote for John Kerry. The man, a Marine recruit, allegedly told her, 'You'll never live to see the election.' He might have had a better case if he told her she'd never live to see the end of the election."

Nail biting

Presidential election update: visit Slate for exit poll results being updated infrequently throughout the day.

I'm reconsidering my position on Colorado's amendment 36 to split our electoral votes. I had been convinced I was going to vote no because Colorado has so little electoral power now, I didn't want to see it eroded. But I believe that there needs to be electoral reform. Is it worth potentially giving up political power to make a statement about electoral reform? This view would say short term loss versus long term gain. But the idea of long term gain means that this change would affect more change in the way this country votes for president. I don't believe that this amendment will encourage any other states to similarly amend their constitutions. So that makes a win for this amendment a long term loss for political principle. Kind of like a vote for Nader, but that's another story.

Also as a consideration, should this amendment pass, it has been written to apply to this election. So my choice for president could possibly gain a victory in Colorado, although polls show that to be unlikely, and only get 5 electoral votes instead of 9. Everyone knows that every electoral vote counts this year.

So, a vote for principle or a vote to encourage future candidates to address Colorado's issues... See you in the voting booth!

My position statement

I will be voting for Kerry today. I am voting for Kerry because, as a woman, I honesty fear what rights I will lose if Bush has 4 more years. I believe in reproductive freedom and the dissemination of accurate information surrounding contraception and sexually-transmitted diseases. That will not happen under Bush's conservative agenda.

I also believe that my homosexual friends should have the right to marry their significant others, just as I do. While I realize that Bush's proposed constitutional amendment would likely never pass, I want a president in office who will support same-sex couples.

I hope you go out and exercise your voice in our democratic process today--if you haven't already!

Treetops glisten

Winter has arrived in Colorado. The lowlands have had our first (measurable) snow. Of course, it started on Halloween. Luckily the storm came in a little too late to make trick-or-treating miserable, but the roads this morning looked like January--and I couldn't find my ice scraper. Arg.

I guess this is good news--now I'll feel motivated to start my Christmas shopping and not rebel against the Christmas decorations already up in malls and stores. Time to get out the soundtrack of the season.